UpTrajectory Review
Judith Humphrey, who built a firm coaching executives on leadership communication, argues that six common phrases sabotage a speaker's authority before the substance lands. The excerpt gives us three: the barked commands "Look!" and "Listen!", and the filler "What I mean is." Each, she says, signals that the speaker doubts the message will carry the room. Her fix is simple: replace commands with declarations of conviction. Say "I am convinced that…" or "My experience has taught me that…" and let the strength of the claim hold attention. The full piece at Fast Company covers the remaining three phrases; the pattern is clear enough from these.
For a small-business operator, this advice cuts deeper than it first appears. You pitch vendors, reassure staff, negotiate with landlords, and talk to customers who could walk. Every one of those moments is a credibility test. A founder who says "Listen up, we had a rough month" sounds rattled; one who says "I am convinced we have a plan" sounds like someone worth following. Humphrey's point is that confidence is built at the phrase level, not the slide deck level. You do not need a bigger budget or a better quarter to sound like you know what you are doing. You need to stop apologizing for taking up airtime.
What is genuinely useful here is the diagnosis. Most communication advice tells you to project confidence; Humphrey tells you where the leaks are. The commanding "Look!" and "Listen!" are the most instructive because they feel strong and read weak. They are the verbal equivalent of a manager who slams the table to end a meeting. The audience hears the insecurity, not the authority. We agree with her core claim: conviction language beats attention-grabbing language every time. We are slightly skeptical of the blanket ban. In a crisis, a direct "Listen" can cut through panic. Context still rules.
The second-order effect lands on your team. If you lead with commands and qualifiers, your managers will copy you, and the habit will spread through every customer call and stand-up. The cost is not just rhetorical. A vendor who hears "What I mean is…" twice starts negotiating harder. An employee who hears "Look!" before every directive starts tuning out. Confidence language compounds in both directions. The same mechanism that makes a nervous speaker sound weaker makes a clear speaker sound more trustworthy than their numbers alone would justify.
Try this this week: record your next all-hands or sales call. Count the commands and the qualifiers. Then rewrite your next three key sentences as Humphrey suggests, with "I believe," "I know," or "My experience has taught me" leading the claim. Read the full piece for the other three phrases she flags, then cut one from your vocabulary before your next pitch. Confidence is not a personality trait. It is a set of word choices you can edit.
“When you show confidence, others will believe you and follow you.” — Fast Company
Takeaway: Audit your next call for commands like "Look!" and qualifiers like "What I mean is"; replace them with conviction statements that start with "I believe" or "I know."
Excerpt from the original — Fast Company
If you want to sound confident, avoid expressions that broadcast your insecurity. Eliminate the following words and expressions from your speech.
1. LOOK!
This word is usually uttered in a commanding tone. It orders the audience to pay attention. It is rarely the mark of a respected leader. Just the opposite.
Saying “Look!” suggests you’ve lost the audience or you don’t feel confident that your message will hold their interest. Speakers who bark at the audience this way are trying desperately to sound strong.
The solution is to speak in such a way that people want to hear what you have to say. People are more likely to want to listen when you show that you have conviction about what you’re saying.
So use strong words. Say “I believe that . . .”; “I am convinced that . . .”; “I know that . . .”; or “My experience has taught me that . . .” Put some …